Tonight I'm thinking about memories....and what they hold...and what they don't. My dad was with me this evening. He has dementia and doesn't have many memories all of the time. That bothers my sisters and my mom alot, but for some reason it doesn't get to me. Maybe it's because most of my memories are bad...violent...painful. I don't know. It just doesn't bother me.
As we were walking tonight I asked Dad if he remembered the weeping willow tree we had in our backyard when I was growing up. (It was huge. We kept our picnic table and lawn chairs under it. It was the best place to be on the hottest summer day). He laughed. Sketched the tree in the air with his hands (he doesn't have many verbal skills most of the time) and then I reminded him of the night he and my uncle stayed under it all night drinking beer & tomato juice (poor man's bloody marys) and reminiscing. He laughed. His eyes lit up. He remembered.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but I know this: Memories never really leave us. They are always there, waiting for the word or picture that brings them back to the front. I like helping my dad remember those good ones. I'm glad he's forgotten the bad ones.
I love that you not only have the memory of the tree, but the memory of helping your dad remember. So special. I just spent some time with my 80ish year old grandparents. It was quite an interesting escapade to ask them about their childhoods, families, etc. I am always astonished by what they remember, and what they don't. I'm glad you were able to help your dad remember!
ReplyDeleteThe brain is an amazing thing. The triggers are different for everyone. You just made me remember the willows we had in our backyard. They would get a "haircut" so we could get some air through the yard. I'm glad you had a happy memory for your dad.
ReplyDeleteBoy, there is a lot of emotion packed just under this bit of writing. I love the way you approach the subject of memories--your own and your dad's--and how you are helping him remember.
ReplyDeleteThere is something so interesting about this, and the writing makes it that way. Thank you for capturing it.
What a beautiful moment to share with your dad. I could feel the emotions in your story. It's amazing how memories can have such strong emotions tied with them. I hope that you are able to continue to share those good memories together.
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